Codependency is an issue that many couples experience, and it's one that can last years and decades. This type of situation, in which one person allows his or her behavior to be influenced by the other person, can be problematic. The person who is more codependent may feel parented, while the other partner may be annoyed with his or her spouse's apparent inability to act or think independently. If you're in therapy and codependency comes up, you might initially deny it. However, it's useful to look for examples of it in your life so that you can work through them in this healthy environment. Here are some clues that can indicate a codependent relationship:
Copying The Other's Mood
An obvious sign that there's some degree of codependency in a relationship occurs when one person's mood influences the other. For example, if one partner wakes up feeling happy but the other wakes up feeling miserable, the happy one may soon notice that he or she feels upset. It can be difficult to maintain your sense of self when your mood is drastically different from that of your partner, but in order to create a relationship in which each person is dependent, doing so is necessary — and your therapist will help you to achieve this goal.
Changing Your Diet
There's nothing wrong with consuming a different diet than your partner — yet, many people demonstrate some degree of codependency by consuming what their partner consumes. An obvious example of this situation is when one person enjoys consuming alcohol and the other does not, but the non-drinker eventually becomes a drinker because he or she is influenced instead of hangs onto himself or herself. Similarly, a healthy eater may begin to eat poorly because the other partner does so.
Changing Your Sexual Identity
Each person has his or her own sexual identity, even if it hasn't been greatly explored yet. It can be easy to be influenced by the sexual identity of your loved one and begin to adapt to his or her approach, rather than stay true to what works for you. In this case, one's sexual identity isn't about his or her sexual orientation. Rather, it's about how the person enjoys approaching sexual intimacy and his or her sexual relationship. If you've noticed that you're no longer approaching your sexual relationship in a manner that you feel is natural and enjoyable to you, getting help with the therapist with your codependency habits can be beneficial.
Check out a website like http://livinghopeclinic.org for more information and assistance.